Five questions with Jotika – a multidisciplinary artist, activist, and fierce brown femme and one half of the spoken word, singing, and glittery duo Desi Femme Power

Photo Credit:  Zain Shivji

 What was it like growing up?

I grew up on Coast Salish Land that belongs to the Musqueam, Sḵwx̱wúmesh- Squaimish and Tsleil-Waututh peoples aka Vancouver. I grew up poor and lived  in B.C housing with predominantly my mother and my sister. I grew up in a Hindu and Catholic home that perpetuated a lot patriarchal, sexist and heteronormaitve ideals. I didn’t recognize or come into my queerness until my later teen years. I carried a lot of internalized homophobia.

How did you come out?  What does that mean to you?

I came out to myself when I was about 18/19; I really started to question my sexuality. I came out to my mother when I was 22/23 in a conversation in our kitchen where she asked me if I was a lesbian, at the moment I said yes, I figured it wasn’t the time to get into what Queer meant.

A lot of my extended family does not live in the same city/country so I have been slowly been able to come out to people that I feel safe with. There are many people in my family that don’t know I am queer.

What has been your inspiration in life?

My mother has become a source of my inspiration. She has worked so hard her whole life and continues to work hard. She has endured a lot as an immigrant, brown women and she has such an empathetic heart.

QTIPOC (Queer, Trans*, Indigenous, People of Colour) are a constant source of inspiration for me and specifically my fellow poor QTIPOC folks. The ways we fight to be seen and heard, the ways we shine and share our truths, and the ways in which we create from, work though, and heal from trauma together.

Meeting other Queer and gender non-conforming South Asian folks who are doing such powerful important work this past July at Desi Q was a huge source of inspiration for me.

What has been some of your greatest achievements?

This past few years I feel very proud that I have made (and sold!) art that has been in my heart for a long time. I have started making greeting cards (Queer, solstice, Diwali etc.) and radical posters that celebrate: Queer and Trans* folks of colour, brown women and other groups that don’t get celebrated and recognized enough.

This past year I started a performance group with a friend of mine Zain called:  Desi Femme Power. We are a spoken word, singing, glittery duo that touch on many topics including: inter-generational trauma & survival, racism, transphobia, homophobia, healing, love, strength and poverty.

What is your message to the world?

Surround yourself with people that love you and that can see your worth. I have learned that it has been the people I’ve choose to have in my life that have helped me see that I can really achieve anything I want. Finding and connecting with communities I feel good in have helped me and continue to help me be the powerful femme that I am. Growing up in poverty affects so much of us; the effects of systemic poverty are real and I feel you.  I am constantly fighting and raising my voice to have my narratives be heard. You are powerful! You are strong! You are beautiful.  Don’t believe the lies that main stream societies feeds us. Write your own stories, create your own art, carve your own paths in the ways that make sense and feel good to you.

 

Jotika is a multidisciplinary artist and activist who is a fierce, brown femme. She creates art to heal, learn, inspire, listen, observe, fight and dream. Her art is a piece of her activism; she makes visual art as well as writes and sings. She is working on her Bachelor of Social Work. She is a queer, poor, South Asian women whose roots are in Northern India and Fiji. She was born and raised as a settler on land that was stolen from the xʷməθkʷəy̓ə – Musqueam, Sḵwx̱wú7mesh – Squamish and Tsleil-Waututh peoples.

You can check out Jotika’s art at:  https://www.facebook.com/JotikArt and http://jotikart.tumblr.com/

Five questions and a life lesson from a brave humanitarian – I am what I am!

 What was it like growing up?

I come from a small and very conservative and traditional village.  I belong to a typical Muslim family.   I realized that I was different when I was ten years old. I spent my life while I was single in my village and then I moved to a big city to get more education. After completing my degree; I had no choice except to go back to the village and get married with one of my cousins, as all of my other sisters did.

I don’t want to be killed by my family; if they ever find out that I am different. I just completed my degree and moved to another city for a job. I am a well known social worker. I proved that I am special among my family (all boys and girls) as no girl or boy goes outside and works so independently. There is still so much family pressure to get married.

 

How did you come out?

I just started searching for other gay and lesbian people and I found them.  These new friends know that I am a queer but they don’t even know about my real identity as it’s so risky for me. .

 

What has been your inspiration in life?

I am inspired by my father who gave us (all sisters) the opportunity to become educated and learn while he faced so much family opposition and pressure as girls’ education is not a priority in our family, in our village.

What has been some of your greatest achievements?

My greatest achievement is that I am living a fearful life but still I am considered as a very successful and competent person. I work closely with extremely vulnerable people and I always support them to become useful and independent citizens.

I can’t write what I do in my life.  If I write my personal achievements here; anybody from my country can recognize me.   I just want to say that people around me say that what I achieved alone as a professional woman; even a man in our patriarchal society, may have difficulty achieving.  I have been told by many people that they consider me better than millions of men in my country.

What is your message to the world?

Learn to accept others and give the right to live to everyone as much as you give to yourself. Give complete freedom to all around you to be what they are. Always wish peace, love and respect for everyone. Believe in yourself and you are the one to navigate yourself truly towards your dreams.  This is my life lesson for others.

The writer is a social worker, educator and activist.  Minimal edits have been done for clarity and safety reasons.    

Five questions with the founding editor of Gaylaxy magazine, Sukhdeep Singh, a man of courage and conviction

Photo Credit:  Tara Chattopadhyay

What was it like growing up?

I grew up in Kolkata, in a Sikh family. My parents have always taught me that all humans are equal, and that serving humanity is serving God! My parents are a bit religious, but I am not; and they have never forced religion upon me as such. I have grown up in a liberal atmosphere; but like most Indian households, sexuality is something that does not get discussed. I do not remember feeling “guilty” for harbouring same-sex desire while growing up. Sometimes I would pray to God to give me strength to deal with the situation, or sought a way to tell my parents. But as I got to understand my sexuality more, such fears also vanished.

How did you come out?

Coming out … well, I have been coming out since 2009, and can say it has happened twice- once to friends, and once to my mother. My first coming out happened when I was in college. I had written a coming out post on my blog, which was followed by only a few close friends. But after a few months, someone got hold of the link and I was publically outed. Thankfully, all my friends were very supportive and stood by me. Although I did receive a few reactions like ‘How can you be gay? When did you turn gay?’ It was largely a positive reaction from others and I was soon leading an open life in my college.

To my mother I came out last year, and it was difficult to explain to her. I knew she wouldn’t understand what gay means, so I told her I wouldn’t be marrying. When she asked why, I tried explaining her that I was attracted to boys instead of girls. At first she acted as if she didn’t hear anything, as if the conversation never happened. Later when I again sat down with her and told her about it, she questioned me how was this possible, how will I have kids, who will I lead my life with? She told I could marry a girl of my own choice in 2-3 years and then started crying. Our relationship hasn’t been affected and we haven’t had a direct conversation on this topic after that. But she doesn’t approve of me going to gay pride marches or other gay events.

What has been your inspiration in life?

My inspiration is my parents, who did such a wonderful job of bringing us up despite the hardships they had to face. They always allowed me to grow and work on my interests. The teachers of my school have also inspired me a lot.

What has been some of your greatest achievements?

I have had a fairly difficult childhood since our family’s economic condition wasn’t good. But I was a studious student who stood first in my class. With the help of my school Principal, I was successful in getting through to one of India’s best engineering colleges. It was while studying in college that I launched Gaylaxy magazine in 2010, India’s largest English language LGBT magazine. Over the years, I have been able to sustain it along with my job (I work as a Software Engineer). We launched India’s first and only Hindi LGBT magazine too on 1^st January, 2014; and will soon be launching a mobile app in a few days.

What is your message to the world?

Treat everyone equally, with love and dignity. Our only concern should be welfare of humans. Do not harbor hatred within yourself for anyone. Question every single thing in the world, and if the answers do not satisfy you, work towards change. The ability to “unlearn” is also important. We must unlearn the prejudices, sexism that we might have learnt while growing up. Lastly, for queer youth, I will say, do not be too bogged down with sexuality. Focus on your study and career and when you grow up, you will find the courage and way to lead your life.

Sukhdeep Singh is fhe Founding Editor of Gaylaxy magazine which is India’s largest English language LGBT magazine.  For more information on Sukhdeep and Gaylaxy check out http://www.gaylaxymag.com/

Five questions with the inspiring classical singer and composer Shane Raman

Photo Credit:  Adam Dickson

What was it like growing up?

I was born and raised in Burnaby BC.  The youngest of three children, and the only boy in an Indian, Christian family, my position within the family would prove to be fraught with great expectations.  My father is from Fiji and my mother is from Trinidad.  Both of Indian descent, they moved to Canada in the late 60’s.  My father is a minister in the Christian Pentecostal Church and my mother worked in a hospital in Vancouver for 35 years.

The church and Christian faith were the focus and backbone of my immediate family and most of my extended family.  I loved going to church and participating in all the musical and artistic aspects of the service.  It was in church that I developed a love for theology.  At home, with the influence of my parents, I found a life-long relationship with God.

How did you come out?

I think that everyone born in this world goes through some sort of coming out process.  I believe it is a great, grand journey that we are all consistently traveling and exploring.

My specific intentional act of coming out to my family as a gay Christian man was revealed in a 7 page letter I wrote at the age of 26.  I admitted to my parent’s that I was gay when I was 19 and they sent me for counselling for about 2 years, which proved to be the best gift they could have given to me.  I then had the courage to come out to my parents and sisters through the letter which ended with an invitation to meet and discuss the letter’s contents.

What has been your inspiration in life?

As a singer I find musical expression to be a great inspiration in my life.  I’m sure that many people are moved by music as I am because it transcends all kinds of borders and finds a way into the heart like nothing else can.  All forms of art have this potential, and a quote that my boyfriend Adam shared with me, always inspires me: The opposite of war is not peace, it’s creation – J Larson.  I think this is a great motto for every community, including the gay community.

I am also truly inspired by the United Church of Canada.  I attend St. Andrews-Wesley United Church in downtown Vancouver.  I am humbled by the liberal and progressive interpretation of the Bible, which for me, catches the essence of Christianity.  I love the inclusion of all peoples and the very strong social justice arm of the church both locally and internationally.

What has been some of your greatest achievements?

Working as a professional singer, teacher and composer is quite an amazing accomplishment for me.  In a world where arts funding is dismal, the ability to create and add to the musical community in Vancouver is a great honour for me.

I am so proud of myself for learning to love myself, just the way I am.  With the shadows of oppressive views, be they of South East Asian origin or Christian origin, I am proud of the personal work I have done to really understand myself and have compassion for those around me.

More recently, I am so proud to have found the love of my life and to have him further push me to be proud of who we are.  I am so proud of my parents and other family members of older generations who have started their own coming out process as parents and family of homosexual children.  It is not an easy journey for them, rather it has been quite devastating, but the mountain has crumbled and the rebuilding process is beginning.

What is your message to the world?

One of my all-time favourite singer-songwriters, Amy Grant, said It’s better to be kind, than right.  That sentence has resonated with me for so long and I really think that wisdom and compassion join hands in that quote.

As a man who hopes for a world where equality for all is simply the way life works, I believe that it begins with compassion for all, and the wisdom to know how to deal graciously with each other.

Proverbs 1:20 says Wisdom is crying out in the street; her voice is loud in the open places and Hebrews 5:2 says, He can deal gently with the ignorant and misguided, since he himself also is beset with weakness.  I hope to always strive for a balance of wisdom and compassion and apply that to all parts of my life.  Hopefully that is the intersection that I live my life from, abounding from love.

Shane Raman is a professional classical singer, composer, arranger and vocal teacher born and raised in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.  Shane sings with http://www.musicaintima.org/  and http://www.vancouvercantatasingers.com/ and teaches at http://www.sarahschoolofmusic.com/

 

Five questions with social justice activist and artist Alok Vaid-Menon

Photo Credit:  Bryan Chen

What was it like growing up?

I grew up in a small town in Texas which was overwhelmingly white and conservative. I thought that all queer people were white and never thought I could be a queer South Asian. It would be easy for me to dwell on how hard it was to experience racism, gender policing, and religion shaming in a post 9-11 climate, but I think in comparison to many I had it quite well. My family’s caste, religious, and class privilege meant that the brunt of oppression I faced was psychological. Fortunately, I grew up in a family of Indian leftists who taught me early on how to be critical of power and the importance of sharing our politics.

How did you come out?

I don’t really identify with the traditional ‘coming out’ narrative. My family and community always knew that I was ‘queer’ before I had the language (in English) to express it. I used to belly dance at all of the Indian dinner parties, only wear my sister’s clothing, and hang out with all of the girls. There was always a space for me in my community to be queer and that quiet acceptance is something that I hold dear. When I did decide to use words to express myself my family was gracious and accepting. My dad even said, “Finally!”

 

What has been your inspiration in life?

My inspiration in life have been the radical activists of color from Sylvia Rivera to the members of the Ghadar Party to the Black Panthers who resisted capitalism, colonialism, and patriarchy before me in order to pave the way for my generation. I am indebted to the tireless struggle of our ancestors who resisted white supremacy, to our mothers who continue to resist violence, and to our comrades who continue to resist US sponsored state terrorism and islamaphobia. Activism gives me a reservoir of hope and a conviction to fight back and make the world a better place.

What has been some of your greatest achievements?

My greatest achievement has involved rejecting the middle class model minority Hindu fundamentalist upbringing my community raised me with which means that I refuse to be silent. I am building a life that is about measuring my worth by my resistance and not by how much money I make. In that struggle I have made some of the most brilliant friends and comrades. Through my role as a poet with DarkMatter (darkmatterrage.com) and an activist with the Audre Lorde Project (alp.org) I have been able to help radicalize and mobilize other (queer) people of color to get involved with the resistance.

 

What is your message to the world?

It’s not going to “get better” unless we fight like hell to make it better. We have to unlearn all the lies we grew up with that our families, schools, and governments taught us about ‘change’ and ‘progress.’ We have to refuse to apologize for our identities, wants, desires, and dreams. Nothing in this world will change unless we rise up against injustice. It’s not enough to fight for ‘equality’ for ourselves: ‘gay rights’ will mean nothing for the majority of us. We have to fight in solidarity with all oppressed peoples and that includes resisting the co-optation of our identities and struggles by the Western world in service of their imperialist agendas.

Alok Vaid-Menon is an activist and artist based in Brooklyn, New York.  For more information on Alok check out their website:  http://returnthegayze.tumblr.com/

 

Five questions with award winning social worker and author Alex Sangha

Photo Credit:  Sandra Minarik

What was it like growing up?

I was born in Kent, England into a Sikh Punjabi Family.  My parents separated shortly after their arrival in Canada.  I was raised by my mother.  My mother was very spiritual, non-judgemental, and accepting about my differences and diversity including my sexuality.  My father still to this day has a hard time accepting my gayness, especially me being out and proud about it.

How did you come out?

I was not happy being gay in my teens.  I secretly went to see a child psychiatrist hoping to become straight.  Not surprisingly, this did not work.  The psychiatrist helped me accept myself and come out.  When I graduated from high school their was no internet and I had no cell phones and I didn’t know anyone who was gay.  I felt alienated, isolated, lonely, and depressed often.  I began to meet queer people at college and university and started to feel good about myself, especially when I discovered that people like Alexander the Great and Michelangelo were gay and/or bisexual.

What has been your inspiration in life?

My inspiration is the Creator and my mother.  I am very spiritual and feel God would not have created gay people if he wanted them to suffer.  I feel it is the duty of all people to help the marginalized, oppressed, and vulnerable and this includes gays and lesbians.

What has been some of your greatest achievements?

I am proud of launching the DOSTI project which is an anti-bullying, racism, and homophobia workshop as well as founding Sher Vancouver and creating a community of people where queer South Asians and their allies can connect, meet, find support, and not feel alone.  I am also proud of my third book Catalyst and the Dignity House project that I helped initiate.  Dignity House is a proposal to develop affordable housing for gay and lesbian seniors in Vancouver.  I am also excited about the Sher Vancouver Out and Proud Project because I feel it is an opportunity to create public awareness and educate the mainstream public about the issues queer South Asians face and the great things they accomplish everyday, everywhere around the world.

What is your message to the world?

My message to the world is learn to love yourself and the rest will take care of itself.  Be proud, be free, and the direction your life will take will be limitless.

Alex Sangha is an award winning social worker, author, and human rights activist based in Surrey, B.C.  For more information on Alex check out his website http://alexsangha.com. Check out  Alex Sangha on Culture Vulture to discuss his social discussion book Catalyst (4 minutes). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKBvXWG9PVU

Five questions with the multi-talented artist Vivek Shraya

Photo credit:  Karen Campos

What was it like growing up?

Growing up in white Edmonton as a brown gender queer kid was isolating.  I was constantly reinforced that there was something abnormal about me.

How did you come out?

My experience of queerness hasn’t allowed for a definitive coming out moment. I have had to perpetually come out – to my friends, family, and co-workers. My shifting understanding of my own identities has involved perpetually coming out to myself – as bisexual, gay, queer, and a queer person of colour.

What has been your inspiration in life?

I am inspired by people who are passionate, who are devoted to working on being their best selves, who aren’t afraid of taking risks, who are able to seek out and experience joy. I am inspired by my mother, Beyoncé and queer & trans youth of colour.

What has been some of your greatest achievements?

My greatest achievement has been my perseverance as a human and as an artist. Everyday I have lived past 16 years old, and have dreamed of another day, feels like an accomplishment. Every art project I have made feels like a success, despite my own insecurities and an innate understanding of my limitations, despite not being formally trained in the arts, despite being told that I can’t be successful as a brown musician in Canada, despite being continually rejected by funding bodies.

I have dedicated most of my adult life trying to create and provide the kinds of resources and supports I didn’t have growing up, so I feel especially moved when a queer youth connects to my work.

What is your message to the world?

There is nothing wrong with who you are and who you are should be celebrated.

Vivek Shraya is a Toronto-based artist working in the media of music, performance, literature and film. For more information on Vivek check out his website at:  http://vivekshraya.com.  

Five questions with award winning author and psychotherapist Farzana Doctor

Photo Credit:  Vivek Shraya

What was it like growing up?

I grew up in Whitby, a small white town in Ontario. At the time, few people of colour lived there, and queerness was invisible. It took many years to come into my queer South Asian identity.

How did you come out?

I came out to myself after meeting two South Asian lesbians at a lesbian music festival in 1993 (at the time, I’d gone there as a straight ally because I’d heard the music was good!). I couldn’t make the connection between queerness and South Asian-ness until I’d met people who identified this way. Soon after I came out to my family, and I’ve been out to the entire family for almost 20 years. I’ve received a variety of reactions—awkwardness, concern, ignorance, support, celebration.

What has been your inspiration in life?

Writing is a huge part of my life. I’m inspired to write about human experiences of marginalization and resilience. How do we become better people? How do we get over terrible mistakes and traumas? How do we re-imagine and change the world around us?

What has been some of your greatest achievements?

I’m very proud of my novels, and that I won a Lambda Award for Six Metres of Pavement in 2012. It took many years to get my first novel, Stealing Nasreen to publication in 2007, and I’m grateful to the writers and readers who support my work. I believe that a creative practice like writing has the ability to change the status quo, to deeply affect our perceptions of the world.

What is your message to the world?

I think the process of coming out is a unique one for each of us, guided by our own experiences and privileges in this world. There can be a lot of pressure to come out, or to come out in a certain way. Sometimes this pressure comes from the dominant straight world and sometimes the queer community likes to “police” us. It’s really important that each of us expresses our sexuality, gender identity and brownness in a way that is authentic to ourselves first.

Farzana Doctor is an award winning author and psychotherapist based in Toronto.  For more information on Farzana check out her website at http://farzanadoctor.com